I think there comes a time when a man reflects on himself. Everyday a man looks at himself in the mirror, But…does he really see himself?
Or just a mere reflection of himself. Every man should really ask themselves… Do you really know yourself?
One day I was shaving in the morning and I don’t know what came over me. I started to cry just looking at my reflection. Never felt like this before. Then it dawned on me, for the first time in a long time I saw my true self, myself in a real light. The man in the mirror was a tired, sad old man.
How much I have neglected myself, the one person I forgot to listen to, the one person I forgot to lend a hand, the one person I forgot to pat on the back, but yet this one person was the one that is always here for me since the day I was born. I saw a desperate man, a lonely man, and a broken man. This unrecognizable man was reflecting in the mirror. I Couldn’t stop thinking loudly in my head while looking at the mirror….You listen to everyone!, you do things for everyone!, you are there for everyone!, you comfort everyone!, you cry for everyone! But you’ve neglected the most important person in your life – Myself! This time, just this time, these tears are for me!
Sometimes it takes a major adversity in life for you to see the reality. I had many adversities in my life, but one literally crushed me. It sent me into a downward spiral of depression. Every sigh, every breath was very painful. The fear of what’s to come, and the fear of not knowing what’s going to come. All these negative painful thoughts turned into sadness, darkness and it started to consume me from within.
The situation I was facing was dire, no matter what I did there was no way out of it. What makes it worse is, it was not something that was in my control. I’ve hit rock bottom. I knew it, but I guess I was suppressing all of the anger and negative thoughts inside myself. This time I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore…
The Reflection in the mirror was me, the real me. No more hiding from myself. This is the moment I realized I had to change for myself. Who are you kidding? I am the one that has to live with myself for the rest of my life. “Just let it out!” I screamed. “I know I’m better than this!” Why?! Why the fuck am I dwelling on all this shit I cant do anything about!
Still staring at myself in the mirror I started to reminisce when I was younger and happier. I was free back then, free from my own demons. I loved myself back then. I was on top of the world back then. It was Interesting thinking about how invincible I was, how handsome I was, how sexy I was, and kinda put a smile on my face… I liked myself with a smile to be honest.
Funny, my own smile started to motivate me and I wanted to smile again. This was my “Aha” moment!
I was gonna dedicate my life to smiling all the time. My new goal was that simple. Smile Again… of course if I’m not physically and mentally strong I wasn’t gonna get there. I had a long road ahead of me but I was determined! Damn the moment I accepted all the pain, anger, sadness, and negativity, everything felt different. I felt like I was in another realm. I felt liberated. I can finally move forward!
I told myself no matter how fucked up the situation is, i cannot change the past. All that stress and suffering I do is not going to make things any better. I’m causing myself more harm than good.
Just think…NOW! Don’t think of the past, don’t think of the future. If you live your …NOW to the fullest, then your future is full of possibilities and opportunities.
We men need to understand it is ok to be honest with yourself. Sometimes it’s ok to show tears. These tears are what makes you heal so you can move on to battle another day. Also learn to accept yourself and all the goods and bads that come with yourself. You can never change without accepting your past. Accept it!
NOW! is the time to set fuel to all the negativity and use it as fuel to feed your positive thoughts and ambitions. I realized the power of the mind, once determined, is a very powerful thing. I started to envision myself being healthy again, I started to envision myself being sexy again, also envisioning many many more goals I was soon to accomplish.
I am not there yet, but day to day I am changing for the better. Whether your goals are physical, mental , financial, love, etc.
Possibilities are endless . It’s never too late to change. Life is short ! Fucken live it!
Remember Gentlemen… Don’t forget to Smile and Inspire yourself!
~ Mr. Coffee