Midlife Crisis?
As a middle-aged man in California and with my lifestyle, I had a sudden urge to do something crazy with my life that got me thinking.
Am I going through a midlife crisis?
I am in my 40s, closing in on 50, but why is there need for change? I thought I was content with myself, but some peculiar unsatisfactory feelings provoked my thoughts. I am more self-conscious of how I look; I want to challenge myself again, I want a drastic change in how I’m living, I want to be attractive again, I want to go partying, I want to grow my hair back, etc. I’m stressing out thinking of what to do with the rest of my life. All wound up in a perception of running out of time.
Before I begin, I want to make it clear I’m not a professional on this matter, and this is strictly my opinion.
Personal Experience and Realization
A while back, I wrote a blog called “A Man’s Reflection,” and this sums up what I believe to be the start of my midlife crisis. At the time, I thought I was being a little overdramatic, not knowing the emotional transition that was happening. The more I explore this matter on middle-aged men, I realized that it happens to most of us. Interestingly, I believe this mental crisis can be a positive thing and a negative thing at the same time.
The positive aspects of it are that we men should always strive to change for the better, but as we know, procrastination gets the better of us. This crisis we face or will face has this tendency to make us feel this urgency, thus kicking the procrastination in the ass. At least for me, I started the change the next day. Another positive is when things start to change, your confidence goes up, and you feel better about yourself. Men, in general, are adventure-driven, and I think as we age, we feel if we don’t do this “NOW,” it will never happen later. This urgency to experience as much as we can before it’s too late is a good thing. I feel all men should enjoy and fulfill every milestone of their life, whether daring or not.
Now for the negative things about midlife crisis. When things start to change for the better, for some reason, we are still not satisfied. You want more and more. We become acquisitive with material, social, and emotional experiences. Some of us are blinded to what we are becoming. Some habits we pick up can be very dangerous to yourself and your surroundings. Changing for the better is a good thing but always know your place and stay humble.
Depression and Lack of Motivation
Another negative is some of us men go into deep depression. They feel half of their life is over and don’t have any motivation to change. Some men are just plain and simple content with where they are in their life.
I truly believe we need purpose in life. Also, different goals and dreams that fit our middle-aged part of our lives.
Consequences of Extreme Changes
I also want to touch on men that took their midlife crisis too far.
As I have many acquaintances of the same age or older, I’ve seen men completely destroy themselves. I want to note that most of the men I’m mentioning were happily married with kids or successful single men. Many men, I think, want their last hurrah and, in doing so, get addicted to the craziness. I really don’t see a problem in going out from time to time with the boys and enjoying yourselves, but I don’t recommend lifestyle changes for men who have addictive personalities. I have seen men become alcoholics, gambling addicts, drug addicts, getting hurt riding their new bikes and sports cars, cheating, and blowing all their money on women; the list goes on and on.
My point is, I don’t see a problem enjoying the next half of your life, but please be more sensible and responsible with your changes.
Encouragement for Positive Changes
Since we all go through this crisis (maybe not all), please sit down and collect yourself and your thoughts before executing any changes.
And I hope in all seriousness, PLEASE make positive changes to your life.
Understand that no matter what life throws at you, we all have a choice. Always remember and appreciate what you already have, like Family and Friends. Choices have rewards but also have consequences.
~ Mr. Coffee